Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Heart broken
My Partner has told me that he definately wants to go back to college next year. This means that it will be another 4 years at least before we can start trying for a family. Im heartbroken. I dont have this long. Physically I might but mentally I wont be able to wait this long. So what do I do? Am I being selfish? Is he being selfish? Are we compatible at all? I love him but is that enough? Help!!!! I dont know how to handle this!!!
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you have to do what feels right for you. i have been there, and for me the right decision was to stay. mostly, it was becuase the thought of being without my husband makes me physically ill. it appears that you have not had this diagnosis for long, and it all seems so urgent in the beginning. in some ways it is, in others it is not.
ReplyDeletei hope that you find what is right for you.
ILCW
I can totally relate! My husband and I were fairly young when we were married, 24, so after 5 years of trying, we are only 29. YOung by IF standpoint. However, this journey feels like it has been long! One thing we learned is we have each other and although at times I wondered if we were on the same page, through counceling and our faith, we have found we're now on the same track! Don't give up! :)
ReplyDelete~Michelle
I think that all of us have been there at one point in our journey. But if you work together and come to an agreement, I honestly think that things can be worked out.
ReplyDeleteHang in there and have a heart to heart with your partner. Hoping you can come to an agreement soon. ((HUGS))
~ICLW
First I have to say that it is your decision. I have PCOS too. I have been going through treatment for 3 years, and mostly what I have learned is that you can't let PCOS rule your whole world. You will burn out really fast. You need to do things that will make you happy, not just spend all of your energy TTC. I know that sounds pretty imposable, but I've found it is the only way to deal.
ReplyDeleteI know from personal experience the hardship that the decision to go back to school is. I've recently decided myself that I'm officially going to medical school and in order to do that I have to devote the next few years to nothing other than school. So I quit my job. Its been hard financially but we both know in the long run the financial benefits are worth it. Plus I know I can still raise children while going to school. Hundreds of thousands of families do it. You just have to have faith. Faith in yourself, your partner and your relationship. It can work if you want it to. And If you're not supportive and your partner doesn't go back to school because of you or a child do you want to be responsible for that? I know its not fair, its hard across the board but the best way to get over the hard part is to just get on board and press along. At least that's whats helped my relationship with Husband.
ReplyDelete*ICLW*
I'm single, so I can't give any advice on the relationship front. All I can tell you is that you must do what is right for you, which, admittedly, is only a platitude.
ReplyDeleteGood luck.
ICLW
wow, that's a tough situation, especially given the fact that you have pcos and don't know how long it will take to concieve in the first place. i loved the boyfriend i had before i met my husband very much, but he was severly bi-polar and didn't want to have children for fear that he would pass the disorder on to them. it was very hard but i had to move on because i knew i wanted kids. anyways, it all turned out for the best because i have a wonderful husband who wants kids just as much as i do now. good luck to you.
ReplyDeleteiclw
Many, many, many people have children while they are still in college. Especially those who RETURN to college at an older age.
ReplyDelete